I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
