so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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