i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
