we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
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