So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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