what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
What drink are we having for lunch?
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
