No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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