Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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