i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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