can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
