she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
