talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
