i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
