all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize