Me too!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
