the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
