Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
