Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
