If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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