Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
