This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
