Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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