Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
