He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
