when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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