i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Randomize
