My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
