Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I could make wine with my vomit
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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