Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
