She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
Randomize
