It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
This is classic penis vs brain.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
