Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
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