I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Randomize
