Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
