I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
