And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
