well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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