How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
