Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
