Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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