just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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