Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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