i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
