Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
