his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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