dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
