Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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