Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize