u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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