if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Randomize
