Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
