If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Randomize
