Who did Billy Mays play for?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
