We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I am mentally ready for anal.
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