Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
