hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize