He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
