it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
