This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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