I think im going to throw up on grandma
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
how does that bad decision feel?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize