I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
