your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Randomize
