tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
