a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
