I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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