even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
