The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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