Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize
