I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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