Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
